This week in the world’s #1 newsletter on leadership communication:
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How to Become a World-Class Listener
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Become a Brand Legend
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How to Go Viral
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A Story is a Deal
How to Become a World-Class Listener
Ever find yourself in a meeting, nodding along, but your mind drifts elsewhere?
It happens to all of us.
Listening should be easy, right? But it is not.
Despite spending nearly 50% of our workday listening, it's an often-overlooked leadership skill.
The 125/400 Rule and 125/900 Rule explain why – and how you can become a world-class listener.
These insights come from Oscar Trimboli’s book How to Listen (our book recommendation from last week). As a global expert on workplace listening, Oscar sheds light on how we can listen more effectively.
I’m also speaking with Oscar in an upcoming episode of the Speak Like a CEO podcast. I'd love to hear your thoughts:
- What do you struggle with when it comes to listening?
- What would you like to ask Oscar?
- Do you have a listening story or challenge to share?
Just reply to this email if you have anything to ask or share.
The Science Behind Listening
125/400 Rule: People speak at about 125 words per minute, but our brains process up to 400 words per minute. This extra bandwidth allows us to get distracted.
125/900 Rule: Our minds think at a staggering 900 words per minute, but we only articulate 125. This means when someone speaks, most of what they think is still left unsaid.
What This Means for You:
Great listeners don’t just hear words – they create space for deeper thoughts to surface.
Here’s how you can apply this in daily conversations:
#1 Pause Before Responding
Your brain works faster than the conversation, making it tempting to jump in. To counter this, pause for three to five seconds after someone speaks before responding. This gives them a chance to add more thoughts.
Example:
Speaker: “I’m struggling with this project, and I’m not sure if I should ask for help.”
Ineffective Response: “You should just ask!”
Effective Response: Pause… “Tell me more about what’s making it difficult.”
#2 Ask Follow-Up Questions Instead of Assuming
People often haven’t expressed everything on their mind yet. Instead of assuming, ask open-ended questions to uncover deeper insights.
Example:
Speaker: “I don’t think I did well in the interview.”
Ineffective Response: “I’m sure it was fine.”
Effective Response: “What makes you feel that way?”
#3 Listen for What’s Not Being Said
Hesitations, tone, or incomplete thoughts often hold deeper meaning. Pay attention and gently prompt for more details.
Example:
Speaker: “I guess it was fine….”
Ineffective Response: “Well, at least it’s over.”
Effective Response: “I hear some frustration in your voice—what happened?”
#4 Resist the Urge to Fill Silence
Silence can feel awkward, leading to rushed responses. Instead, embrace the pause—it allows deeper reflection.
Example:
If someone pauses after speaking, resist the urge to fill the silence.
Instead, ask: “Is there anything else on your mind about this?”
Key Takeaways:
- Slow down—be present in the moment.
- Pause before responding—let thoughts fully emerge.
- Ask open-ended questions—go beyond surface-level answers.
- Listen beyond words—tone and hesitation matter.
- Embrace silence—it fosters deeper connection.
Mastering these techniques transforms you into a leader who truly listens and makes others feel heard.
By the way, March is Conversation Month at the Speak Like a CEO Academy! If you are interested in working with me and joining our community to become a Top 1% communicator, take a look here.
RECOMMENDATION
Become a Brand Legend
My friend Howie Chan is a branding genius. He has a way of cutting through the noise and helping business owners find the clarity they need to grow. If you’ve ever felt stuck or unsure about your next steps, his Brand Legend cohort might be just what you need.
"I left the sessions feeling amazing, energized, and ready to take action… I’d recommend Howie’s cohort to anyone. I’d do it again and again with him." - Shujaat Ahmad, Founder of Belong & Lead
The waitlist is open now, and you’ll save $200 when you sign up, and hurry – it closes 11.59 pm CST Feb 16th!
PODCAST
How to Go Viral
I do a podcast to help you become a top 1% communicator.
Is going viral just a matter of luck, or is there a science behind it? This week, I am diving deep into the mechanics of virality with Brendan Kane, a digital strategist, and bestselling author of One Million Followers, Hook Point and most recently The Guide to Going Viral.
Brendan has worked with top entertainment brands, helped celebrities like Taylor Swift and Rihanna build massive online audiences, and guided businesses toward explosive digital growth.
He shares the science behind going viral, why most social media campaigns fail, how AI is shaping the future of content creation, and the one thing you need to understand about audiences for your content to succeed.
Hit play and discover the science behind going viral!
Listen on Spotify and Apple:
BOOK RECOMMENDATION
A Story is a Deal
Will Storr’s books The Science of Storytelling and The Status Game have had a profound impact on my thinking. Now he’s done it again with A Story is a Deal.
The book is not a simple A-B-C recipe for telling better stories to close a deal (although it does provide an excellent framework for better storytelling).
Rather Storr argues that we're not just wired for story. We are story-beings that connect with others and turn reality into a shared narrative.
It is what we do: We spend our lives seeking people-like-us who share our inner story-world.
Expect a worldview-altering conversation with Will Storr on next week’s episode of Speak Like a CEO (if you are not yet subscribed, please do it here so that I can continue to bring you the most inspiring guests).
I leave you with this thought: “For the storytelling brain, what feels true is true.”
On that note, have an inspired weekend,
Oliver
PS: Share this newsletter with your friends & colleagues here.